Read between the lies

So, you probably think i m dumb and can't grasp those signals. Well, so be it. As much as you might try, some day you will realize your fault and regret. That day you cannot turn back time or change a god-damn-thing. I will make merry in hell. *Wicked Laugh invades*

Soundgarden

I am so loving every bit of the soundgarden trip that i am on right now.The below soundgarden songs are my personal favourite.

• Spoonman
• Pretty Noose
• Rusty Cage
• Black hole sun
• Jesus Christ Pose
• Outshined
• Burden in my hand
• Blow up the outside world
• The day i tried to live
• Fell on Black days

Long live soundgarden!!\m/ 

Where-o-where could my puppeteer be?

It's pleasingly weird to see how different indiviuals have different situations to deal with. Its been a while since i had a looooooooooong ( erm.... 3 hours) conversation where we together are trying to get to the root cause of the problem.

Of what i can remember:

This friend of mine is mind-fucked with a few things surrounding her life. She has been married for a year now to the one she was dating. Truly, it was some sort of battle that she fought to get so far. But i really wonder how some people's comments have influenced her thought process so much that she is withdrawing into a shell of her own. Those very comments have put her into a trance that she is mincing and dicing the thoughts in her head so much so that she fears that her marriage will fall apart only cause she is not "the wife" material. Any outsider might think the person hasnt reasoned it out logically and is quite cuckoo whatsoever. Is it just the impulsiveness that drives people to the extremes? I firmly believe that she shouldnt care about what the world says as long her bond with her husband is the way they want it to be. Taking advices in the right spirit to get into a mode of self-realization is alright but not percieveing it in a different tangent and acting totally demented .

My dear pal: Time will heal so take it one step at a time and be a little patient

I just cant stop wondering how people know what they are doing is wrong and still do it cause they derive some kind of pleasure out of it. Makes me ask, do u intend to please your self first or the others?

I so strongly believe that life is like a pre-defined process. The steps or activities are already pre-defined and we as humans are just puppets who are treading through that path.


Where-o-where could my puppeteer be?

^-^  

Final Adieu

So, I heard what i wanted to finally. Am i elated or what? So you are no different from the others i have known.

I don't friggin' care any more.

Who ever you are, what ever you are. I will never turn back time and even make an effort to talk.

Time to say the final adieus.

Get by

Well, i just can't explain how different i feel a few hours after jotting down my thoughts here. And So, i have decided to incldue it in my daily routine.

As i start this tuesday with some Beatles, I feel like jumpin' . Don't know how and why it sure revs me up.

My three songs for today are :

With a little help from my friends

Hand in my pocket

Have you ever seen the rain?

Random Convo

From this day on-wards, You are my best-est friend and shall narrate my stories to you : I don't need a human who walks and talks for suggestions whatsoever.

XXXX: Why r you doing this to me!

  i do not understand

  All I seeked was your happiness & your company

12:35 What made you change?

12:39 You say you want to be with me & befriend me. You say it is not about the money & demand it. You say you do not mean things & you address me with Tittles. Why??

12:41 I told you i wanted to spend my life with you.

  I told the same to my mom.

  that's the truth,

12:42 I do not expect my mom or you to work on that direction

  When I made that choice I knew I was wise & now I still have faith.

  You decide macha

12:43 wht you want

  A better you or just another companion.

  Call is yours :)

YYYY : I did make an attempt and call to reason things but since i failed miserably , i gave up. I really wonder "where did i go wrong, i lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness." 

The friend thought has clouded over me more than anything and since i think, me trying to embed that thought isn't helping. The most obvious thing at this point( as STP would say it ) is to "Take time with a wounded hand , 'Cause it likes to heal "

I am trying to understand what the below lines mean: 

"You decide macha

12:43 wht you want

  A better you or just another companion.

  Call is yours :)"

Better me?? or just another companion?? What do you mean?

Just Me.

So i have been told i am not made of only rock and beer.( Wonder what is being alluded to there) . My insane blood-rushes and hatred deep within are making me fall apart. Although, i think most of it is untrue. As it has it all,when influences( good, bad or ugly, whatever be it) rub off, making you so helpless and the day you realize it, u wish you could turn the world over.

But since decisions have to be made in the vested interest of myself, I will try whatever it takes to never-fucking-ever faulter again.

I have also been told that i lack self-respect and self esteem. Until i figure out the difference between the two and what it is that i lack. I am so alone, my head's my home and i will return to serenity.

Return to serenity :)

A new phase!!

Finally, the new phase of life is here. I vow to quit drinking and all the things that supplement it. 

Obsolete thought

Nobody needs an a'hole for a friend. Once an a'hole, is always an a'hole.